


ToDay

by DoeEyedButterFly



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 00:39:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15674520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoeEyedButterFly/pseuds/DoeEyedButterFly
Summary: " I'd rather live my life thinking 'oh well' than 'what if' "No one knows, what ToDay will bring... it's August 2018...





	1. 'oh well'

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littlescribbs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlescribbs/gifts).



> I was going to go with "Is it an AU or just a dream/fantasy? That's up to you..." but a member of my chosen family said "based on true events", so I'ma stick with that. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *** check out the audio version: https://youtu.be/sXta0Bp_Iko ***

One step at a time. Through the entire park. The grass smelled so much more intense, since Chloe quit smoking a year ago. A bee buzzed very close to her ear and she froze for a second and closed her eyes, insects still freaked her out, just a little bit. A mild breeze loosened her hair and made her waves dance in all three different shades of blue they were currently colored in. What a beautiful day.

Chloe smiled, allowing herself to drift away, just for a moment, cautiously casting her nervousness mixed with excitement aside, as something or rather someone, painfully bumped into her and hit their tiny, yet hard as a rock, head right above her left knee.

"Leslie!", she heard a distressed voice, coming from somwhere behind her, followed by a man wearing glasses and sprinting as fast as humanly possible, in desperate search of his intensely crying child, around maybe two, no older than three, Chloe guessed.  
Checking on her now somewhat aching knee, she caught young Leslie's condescending look and saw how the child was rubbing it's head.

"I am so sorry, she is constantly running away, I can hardly keep up with her and I also have one more to watch and my wife should have been here, like twenty minutes ago, but I can't seem to find her either and... sorry, what I am trying to say is, are you okay?", the guy stuttered, running one hand through his tousled hair, he seemed so very lost, Chloe almost pitied him.  
"Dude, I'm fine and you should probably get some sleep... or a nanny or something and... uh, by the way, is that your wife over there? Cute girl, brown hair, yelling at the kid, taking a dump on the slide?"

Chloe couldn't help it, she burst out laughing, while that poor overburdened father snatched his daughter away from her, threw the kid over his shoulder and turned around to get to a huge green slide, where a petite and pretty woman waved her arms around and furiously screamed at a young boy the same age as the little girl who hit Chloe, "Ryan, don't you dare! Get down, right now! I said NOW! Oh, wait, until your father hears about this! Where is he anyways?!"  
 

With a wide smirk on her face, shaking her head in amusement, Chloe proceeded to wander around in the park and then she saw her. One boot sitting on a bench, no, sitting on a sign on the bench, "fresh paint", Chloe assumed. Orange sunlight highlighted the beautiful blond wavy hair, flowing softly in the wind, the glimpse of a blue feather underneath it all and then she turned around and looked straight at the girl, woman, she hadn't seen in over five years now.

 

"I didn't think, I would ever see you again."


	2. 'what if'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I’d rather live my life thinking ‘oh well’ than 'what if’ ”
> 
> No one knows, what ToDay will bring… it’s August 2018…
> 
> *** check out the audio version https://youtu.be/RrutppPhuWE ***

"Can I hug you? This is so surreal!", Rachel offered in a warm embrace, waiting for Chloe's consent and just as the blue haired woman opened her arms, someone tiny bumped into her, for the second time today. 

"Mamaaaa, pick up, me up, me up, me up, up!", a young boy cried and tried to pull himself in the air, using whatever he could grab and hold on to. 

"Wow... you... you're a mom now?" Chloe's jaw dropped, she couldn't believe her eyes.  
"Yeah, kinda", Rachel nodded. Yeah, yes I am. His name is Callum Alexander but I call him LeoN when it's just the two of us."  
“Liam?”  
“No”, Rachel smiled, slowly shaking her head, “Leo-N.”  
Chloe raised an eyebrow, slightly puzzled but then it suddenly made sense to her.  
“Oh, as in leo, the zodiac sign?”  
"Exactly."

Rachel beamed, her appearance had slightly changed but her smile was the same, her face was the same, her voice was the same, echoing in Chloe's head for all those months, years, endlessly; missing Rachel, dreaming about her and how it would be like to finally see her again, talk to her, maybe, touch her?  
  
While the little blond guy tugged on his mom's shirt and screamed to get some attention, Chloe felt a certain sting somewhere around her stomach or just maybe a little higher, like, in her heart? What was this feeling?

"Oof, careful buddy, don't kick me and no, no don't pull my hair", Rachel struggled with her twisting and turning toddler. "Get down, go see Daddy, I need a minute to talk to Miss Chloe, go over there, go see Daddy." She gently put the little boy down and he reluctantly waddled away.  
 

"'Miss Chloe...' well... conratulations to you and your... uuh... husband?" Chloe's eyes glanced at Rachel's right hand, trying to spot a wedding band, that wasn't there.  
"... boyfriend?" Rachel just smiled but said nothing.  
"... baby-daddy?"

Rachel giggled, then attempted to explain. "Actually, this guy...," she pointed out to one of two middle-aged, well-dressed guys, standing a little further away, chatting with each other, "... is his daddy."  
Chloe looked over and eyed both men, scanned the one with what seemed like the ugliest tie she has ever seen, top to bottom. His red hair was elegantly calmed back and his black shoes looked new and polished and reminded her of David and how he used to spend hours, making sure, everything that meant something to him, was all shiny and she instantly decided, to hate this dude's guts and when he picked up the young child and held the boy close, so Chloe could compare their facial features, she had the hardest time, imagining this douchebag with Rachel. The stingy feeling got even worse.

"It's complicated", Rachel stated quietly and interrupted Chloe's thoughts with her continued explaination. "Well, no. Actually it's not." She sighed heavily, then took a step closer and lowered her voice. "I didn't have him. He's not biologically mine... his mother was in some trouble, I am not allowed to talk about, but I can tell you, it's hardcore, so I became his legal guardian seven months ago. One of his Dad's over there, is actually my best friend. We knew each other from law school. I wanted to help out and then became so attached to him, so we co-parenting now. I have him three days and his bio dad, 'Daddy' and husband 'Papa', have him the rest of the week. So... what can I tell you? We are one big fat happy rainbow family."

  
"Huh." Chloe was stunned. How did she not think of that? It actually made sense.  
Studying hard, becoming friends really fast with someone she knew from school, helping a family in need... it really had Rachel Amber written all over it. She never changed her ways... or did she?   
And if these were the three only guys in her life, was she... single? She didn't mention anyone else and Chloe didn't ask. Not that it mattered. Did it?  
 

"His beanie!" Chloe recognized it just now, narrowing her eyes, trying to think of something else, but then looking back directly at Rachel.  
"Hm?" The blond woman in front of her tilted her head and raised one brow.  
"His beanie, it's the 'BlueBeard doeEye' beanie. I- uh, it's my design."  
"What?"  
"Yeah, it is. I am surprised, you got your hands on one of those, we haven't launched the skater-kids clothing line yet, you only get the adult version of it when you order online, so ah, yeah, I've lived in Seattle for a while, started out there but now I am on tour to promote them, I have some samples with me actually, well not right now, but in my hotel room."  
Chloe frowned, sales talk. This might have been why she flew all the way to California but was it, why she was here, at this particular spot, right now, today?  
  
Rachel smiled, then shook her head. "Phil, his 'Papa', knows some people, that know people in he industry, I guess. I did dress him this morning but the beanie was not my idea I like it though. I-I can't believe you made it... or the design, I mean. You are a successful business woman now, impressive."  
"Well, believe it or not, I AM the industry and you inspired me... kinda. Your costumes and interest in fashion and I've always loved skating... so yeah, now I have my own company, I am my own boss and work with some decent young peeps. Together we're hella creative."  
"Hella? You still say that?"  
"I guess, I never stopped. It's in my system. Can't get it out. Don't want to either."  
"You don't have to... it used to be our little thing... right?"  
  
Chloe shuddered. How could one word, out of the mouth of one person, cover her entire body in chills?  
Was this the moment to tell her? Was this the moment to ask her if...?

Chloe took a brave step forward, she was now just inches away from Rachel's face, inhaling a sense of jasmine, blue hair tickeling Rachel's nose, her radiant beauty nearly took  Chloe's breath away.  
  
"Rachel?"  
"Yes?"  
"uhm..."

  
"Maamaaa!", LeoN yelled, way louder than necessary and the red-haired guy, who Chloe just made up her mind about and decided he wasn't that much of a douchebag until just this moment where he was the biggest douche of them all, joined him, by shouting "Ray-Ray, are you coming to say bye bye or what?"

Rachel turned her head, looking from one person, back to the other, seeing her past versus her present. She looked confused for a moment, disturbed, seemed somewhat torn.

"Hang on ok?", she finally directed towards Chloe, "I just need to tell him Goodbye, we won't see each other before next week. I'll be right back, don't move."

The sting turned into a knife, turned into a stab, turned into rejection of the worst kind and Chloe refused to be the one in people's way. Abort was her only solution to the scenario. Right now.

"You obviously have stuff to deal with right now and I should probably head back like... now. So, yeah, it was nice to see you and well... you know..." Chloe could hear her own voice, it sounded scratchy and she could feel her knees shaking and the tears coming up, so she rushed her words and spun around to walk away as fast as possible, flee the scene. Leave it all behind. It was time to move on.

"Ah, Chloe, wait. Can we... uhm, can we continue this tomorrow? I might just work from home and have time in the afternoon, you know...or maybe I could take the day off." Rachel tried to pull her back, holding on to every chance, she might get, looking over her shoulder to her family, ready to depart.  
  
"Actually, no Rachel, we can't, sorry." Chloe looked down on her boots and kicked some invisible dirt in the grass. Someone was always more important than her. "I am leaving later tonight, I have a business meeting tomorrow morning in Chicago."

"Tomorrow?" Rachel stared at Chloe in disbelieve, trying to hide her disappointment, but the look she gave her also revealed something else. Was she... proud of her?  
"Chicago. Wow. So you are... leaving. So soon?" Even drenched in sadness, Rachel Amber managed to somehow glow. Chloe couldn't take her eyes off her, has she always been so beautiful? If she could just touch her cheek, just once, to see if it felt the same... her heart hurt. She should go. Why did she even come here?  
  
  
Two adult men and their son, who also had a loving and caring mom, reached the gate and left the park. Rachel hadn't turned around again to face them, she was completely focussed on Chloe. 

"Look,... have you eaten yet?" Chloe hesitated then shook her head. That was her answer, that was all she was capable of right now.

"I live in this area. I mean... I could fix us something really quick, you know. We could talk some more..., that is, if you want to... You should stay... please stay... for dinner at least." Rachel seemed nervous, she tucked her hair back behind her ear, the same way, Chloe has seen it, many times before, many years ago, in a different lifetime, you could say.  
Chloe closed her eyes, the screaming children were suddenly muted, the park view got completely blocked out, all she could feel was the wind, warm and calming, like Rachel's breath in her neck, whenever she would hold her close and make her stop crying.  
  
"What if", she asked herself, "what if I walk away from this? I will probably never know, what could have been... but what if I stay? I don't know... What if she was an active part of my life again? Do I really want that? Is that even an option? What if she was in my life again? Will she leave me again? Will she hurt me? I've already suffered so much, I can't take any more, I think, I am doing a lot better now but am I really?...

Chloe felt a tightness in her throat, her eyes burned. Was it the circumstances, were they meant to fall for each other, years ago, in troubled times for both of them, but never actually be together? Was that even an option? Was it all just bad timing?... Was it anybodys fault or didn't that matter anymore at all?  
"I just don't know. Do I want to find out? Do I dare to stay?... Am I investing more in this, than I can afford to lose?... But what if I turn my back? What if..."

  
A tight grip around her wrist interrupted the young woman's deep thoughts. Rachel looked at her very seriously but couldn't quite hide the fear in her eyes and wouldn't let go of Chloe's hand.  
"I've said sorry, so many times, to you, to my parents and friends, to people around me... it doesn't mean anything anymore. So, I am going to say, I was wrong. What I did was wrong. I should have told you everything I knew back then, I should have shared my secrets with you and trust you to take it well or at least work it out with me, most of all, I should have taken you with me. Leave with you, explain it to you on the road... and I swear by my life, I wanted to, intended to... but then I didn't. I deeply regret it, I do, every day that goes by. I was wrong. And I still am wrong about a lot of things but I'll be damned to make the same mistake again, especially now in this phase of my life... and I won't risk it, not, when it comes to you... Please don't go, I am begging you, please.... Please stay."  
  
Rachel shruged and hung her head, but too late, Chloe already noticed the tears streaming down that pretty face. She felt the silent urge to hug Rachel, rock her gently in her arms and tell her, it'll all be fine. She remembered the last time, she actually did that. 

The burning in Chloe's face intensified. Vivid pictures popped up in her twisted mind, parts of her life flashed in front of her, every moment she'd spent with Rachel, every conversation they ever had, every fight about money, drugs, school, parents and other people, about not being able to leave Arcadia Bay, every problem they ever solved together, everytime they fell asleep next to, or on top of, each other, everytime they touched...

  
"She is asking me to stay... but it is my final decision." A sad smile cramped up on Chloe's face, followed by a single tear running down her cheek, her voice was nothing more, than a whisper. "If I asked you to jump Rachel Amber,... would you?"  
The young woman standing right in front of her, still holding on to Chloe's wrist, exhaled, taking a second to reply and then, without a doubt, told her "I think, I just did."

  
Somewhere deep down, Chloe must have always known, because a huge knot, sitting tightly in her chest, holding her down with an iron fist and keeping her from moving on, for all those years, just untangled and eased, the moment, she heard those words and looked at Rachel, speaking not from her mind, but from her heart. This was the moment, she made her choice. She would rather live her life, telling herself "oh well" than always asking "what if".

It was time to fucking jump.  
 

Chloe swallowed, then freed her wrist and and put an arm around Rachel's waist, supporting her, slowly walking her out of the crowded park.  
"Hey Rach?"  
"Hm?"  
"Did you see that kid earlier, the one that pooped on the slide?"  
"What? No. Damnit, I totally missed that."  
"Oh well,... shit happens! Sometimes quite literally."


End file.
